99 Thoughts I Had While Watching Venom
What’s ‘Venom Mode?'
Alright, I guess I’m finally watching this thing.
I hope iTunes didn’t charge me for this dumb movie twice.
I weird that Sony still uses the old Marvel animation.
I wonder how much of this movie will take place in space
Ugh: “Life Foundation”. There’s no way that’s not a joke about the folks who thought “Life” was a Venom prequel.
The CGI on this spaceship is… not good.
I wonder if the distinction that this crash happened in East Malaysia really informed audiences more than just saying Malaysia.
They know one of the organisms is loose, but they don’t know which one? How is that combination possible?
An astronaut named Jameson? Is it Jonah’s son!?
Spooky monster and a car crash right off the bat. Love it.
Title at the beginning. How retro.
Tom Hardy’s girlfriend seems like she’s really keeping things together around here.
Who films these 'Eddie Brock reports' videos? Because he’s got like 4 different angles on these motorcycle shots.
I’ve seen about 13 seconds of Eddie’s reporting and I can already tell you that this interview is going to go poorly. This editor needs to pick his assignments better.
The bedroom in their apartment has very cool doors.
Oh see, this is why you should never give your S.O. your laptop password.
Unrelated, I’m taking these notes on my wife’s laptop.
Drake made a big deal about letting this girl ask her question, but then he didn’t let her ask the question. He just gave her a pin.
Weird that they aren’t seated for this interview.
Where’d Drake’s new pin come from? He just gave it to that little girl.
“Have a nice life” would be a solid tagline for the Life Foundation.
The editor said “Have a nice life” too after firing Eddy is a little weird.
Finally! Creepy alien monsters are here. Each in its own little tube for easy travel
.I know this woman has a symbiote in her body, but she still shouldn’t eat a raw eel, like its a big spaghetti noodle.
If this movie had been about this rabbit that gets a symbiote, I would’ve seen it in theaters.
Riz Ahmed isn’t quite sinister enough to pull off the “how are your kids” threat.
Eddie seems pretty down on his luck. He probably shouldn’t be giving $20 to newspaper hustling homeless ladies.
Eddie, with no super powers, watches a woman as she is robbed. The world has enough heroes indeed.
Eddie’s new apartment is much less good.
I wonder what that rabbit is doing right now.
He has far more bracelets that I would expect from a Tom Hardy character.
Perhaps this will be the first successful science experiment ever in a Sony Spider-verse film.
Drake is getting weirdly theological on this guy he’s trapped in a glass box with an alien monster.
Oh no, another failed experiment. Turns out this guy who isn’t Venom isn’t Venom. Who could’ve seen this coming?
I so very desperately want to get to the part of this movie where Eddie turns into Venom. But I have a feeling it isn’t going to happen for quite a while.
Her new boyfriend is very friendly.
I feel like it’s important to note that Tom Hardy is doing some very good acting in this movie.
If down on his luck, unemployed Eddy Brock throws that fancy diamond ring into the San Fransisco bay, I will reach into the TV and throttle him.
This doctor is trying to explain global warming to Eddie but he just wants her to skip to the alien part. This is the problem. This is why we’re all going to melt. Global warming matters people!
Did they ADR this scene? I would’ve sworn she said “sim-bye-oat” in the trailer.
Eddie is now in the lab with the symbiote, so my dream of them merging seems close. But I’m not sure what I want to happen once they merge. There’s no Spider-man for him to fight or anything.
Oh man, this is why you should never break people out of spooky labs.
Bit by a radioactive Venom, Eddie Brock now has the proportional strength and speed of a Venom. He’s Venom.
Didn’t Logan do that exact same “smash through a downed tree while running from armed bad guys in the woods” shot?
Oh, he’s very hungry.
ALRIGHT! Venom time.
Oh shit, never mind. He bumped his head and fell asleep.
I think this lab test subject has the symbiote now. But how did they get it out of the rabbit?
This older Malaysian woman has had this symbiote in her body for a very long time.
Oh. Eddie is still very hungry.
Man, Tom is going for it!
Boy, he just hopped right up into that lobster tank didn’t he? I’d heard he did this but he really just did it.
I bet that was a real live lobster he just munched down on. Because Tom is a professional.
I do not think that Venom likes the MRI machine.
Dan is competing with symbiote rabbit for my favorite character in the movie so far.
Nothing comforts strangers like narrating your every action.
I need the characters that aren’t Venom to have fewer lines, and the characters to are Venom to have more lines.
Again, Riz Ahmed is not a convincing villain to me. He needs to pick an evil lane and stick with it.
Oh man, I hope the lady scientist isn’t really dead.
Eddie, he just said don’t open the door. You gotta get better at instructions dude.
We are so close to Venom now.
The fact that Eddie is doing all these cool Venom things and attributing it to a parasite shows real trust in Dr. Dan.
“Launch the drones” will be a line that forever dates this movie in the future.
I’d need to draw a diagram to work it out, but I’m pretty sure you can’t jump a bike off a hill and go airborne like that.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to get all Neal Degrasse Tyson there for a second.
This chase scene was very good.
One hour into a 160-minute movie, we have Venom.
Oh no, lady scientist is dead. That’s sad.
The Eddie to Venom transformation must be expensive to animate. They’re trying really hard not to show it.
Remember that Spider-Man movie where Spider-Man had to take the elevator because his powers stopped working?
Saying “Mask!” and then turning into Venom was cool.
I do like the old “use one of the guys as a club to hit the other guys” routine.
Venom is a surprisingly good life coach.
Drake was probably going to try to give this little girl a pin until she smashed him to bits.
Anne is a quick thinker.
Eddie should really not leave the hospital.
Drake! Pick a bad guy archetype. Every scene is a different motivation.
The Lady Venom character design is super cool.
Eddie/Venom make out scene!
Venom’s kind of a fickle bitch.
Oh! Or he’s a very good friend. I can’t tell. But either way, I like to watch him punch guys.
As far as big end super hero movie CGI fights go, I’m weirdly on board for this one.
Riot is like if the bad guy from T2 was an alien.
I’m going to be very into it if Anne ends up saving the day.
Man, Riot just pulled Venom right off of Eddie. I didn’t know you could do that.
Okay, these effects are getting out of hand.
Is that why he’s called Riot? Because he’s made out of lots of boys? Or can any symbiote gobble up any other symbiote like that?
Minus the aliens, Eddie vs Drake is not nearly as interesting.
It’d be wild if Eddie just died.
Now Venom’s saying the “Have a nice life” thing?! I guess it works because Drake said it to Eddie earlier, but it just seems weird.
If they didn’t need to make a sequel, Venom burning up to save Eddie would be a good ending.
What happened to that rabbit?
I’m very into a sequel about Eddie and Venom trying to win Anne back.
Stan! I wasn’t expecting to see him! That’s fun. Excelsior!
He’s going to say turd in the wind!
Oh man, he just gobbled that guy up.
That is one bad wig they put on Woody Harrelson. He looks like Annie
I'm genuinely shocked at how much I enjoyed this film.