Every Batman Movie in 100 Words Or Less
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Every Batman Movie in 100 Words Or Less
Holy Word Count, Batman!
Since the 1960s, one of the foundational pillars of American cinema has unequivocally been movies about the character named “Batman.” From Adam West to Ben Affleck, a select group of men has been called upon to play that rarest breed of icons: one of both the printed page and the silver screen.
As we prepare ourselves in body, mind, and spirit for the arrival of The Batman, starring boy wonder Robert Pattinson and directed by Matt Reeves, Ryley and Deepak take a look at the live-action, big-screen iterations of Batman we’ve enjoyed – or not – so far.
Batman: The Movie (1966)
Directed by Leslie H. Martinson
Starring Adam West
Deepak: I have to admit, I have not seen this. Not super-familiar with the Adam West era in general. I did see Return of the Caped Crusader, the animated revival from a few years ago, and I thought that was enjoyably campy. I guess that’s all I can really contribute here.
Ryley: Unlike Deepak, I’m obsessed with the 1960s Batman franchise. I own all of it on Blu-Ray and it’s my go-to watch for any time I’m feeling down or under the weather. Adam West wasn’t my introduction to Batman by any stretch. But while other kids my age were watching Batman: The Animated Series, I was watching Batman on TV Land. The over-the-top camp is hilarious. But there’s also something fundamentally true about this goofy show. When I watched it as a kid, I didn’t get that it was funny. I just thought “Oh yeah, this is how Batman would operate. Checks out.”
Batman (1989)
Directed by Tim Burton
Starring Michael Keaton
Ryley: Keaton has my vote for best Batman ever. And a lot of that comes from this movie. There’s a great story about Keaton’s casting that says he thought Burton wouldn’t be interested in his interpretation of the character. But the truth is that Keaton’s understanding of Bruce’s psychology, combined with Burton’s vision for what Batman should look like on the screen, is foundational to everything that came after. They bridged the gap between West and Bale.
Deepak: Still slaps. Somehow manages to be off-the-walls goofy while capturing the gravitas of Batman / Bruce Wayne. I grew up in a world in which Jack Napier killed Bruce’s parents and became the Joker, so I wonder if my opinion would be any different if I were around at the time. I never really had a problem with it. A good movie is a good movie, and this is a good movie. Remember when Tim Burton used to make those?
Batman Returns (1992)
Directed by Tim Burton
Starring Michael Keaton
Deepak: I’ve really, really tried to like this movie. I’ve seen it maybe three times in my life. I just can’t get into it. I don’t care that it doesn’t really feel like a Batman movie, I get that it’s trying to get beneath the characters’ surfaces more than its predecessor, and I get that Burton basically got carte blanche to get as weird as he wanted – and he did. But it just never feels particularly interesting to me. The characters are dull, the story is uninvolving, the action is routine, and the movie lurches along until it’s finally done. One of the weaker Batman movies.
Ryley: I’m genuinely gobsmacked by that assessment because Batman Returns has to be one of the most unconventional movies I’ve ever seen. Burton was infamously uninterested in making a sequel but Warners forced him into it. And the result was a McDonald's Happy Meal campaign that forced Warners to fire Burton after he had finally come around to the idea of making a third Batman movie. The unchecked sexuality of Michelle Pfeiffer side by side with Danny DeVito’s… whole deal… makes for a spectacle I cannot look away from.
BATFACT: In one early version of the script, Max Shreck was supposed to be Billy Dee Williams’ Harvey Dent, and his electrocution at the end of the film was the origin story for Two-Face in Burton’s proposed third film.
Batman Forever (1995)
Directed by Joel Schumacher
Starring Val Kilmer
Ryley: So while Deepak gets away with the unforgivable crime of not having seen Cloony or West don the cowl, this is my biggest blind spot. I’ve seen Batman Forever twice in my life. Once when I was very small, and once a few years ago when I fell asleep before the introduction of Jim Carry’s Riddler. It’s a fun movie, and I am a fierce Schumaker defender. I should honestly probably watch this one more than it’s successor. I’ve just got a thing for Bat-Nips.
Deepak: Not going to pretend that this is a good movie, but it hits me right in the nostalgia bone. This is the first Batman movie I can remember seeing, and I remember the hype around it back in the mid-nineties. The Seal song. Seeing Riddler and Two-Face team-up. Seeing Robin join Batman for the fight. And Chase Meridian… Anyway, this one’s fun if you’re in the mood for it.
Batman and Robin (1997)
Directed by Joel Schumacher
Starring George Clooney
Ryley: First things first: this movie is indefensible. And yet… It’s pretty fun! I love this big clunky wet fart of a Batman movie. But the thing is, Batman and Robin is the Rosetta Stone to my love for all big, clunky wet fart movies. I saw this movie in theaters more than once when I was six years old. I have memories of watching it at home, on vacation, and at friends’ houses. I could not get enough of Batman and Robin. And I’m proud to say that 24 years later, I still can’t get enough of it.
Deepak: Again, confession time: I’ve never actually seen this movie in its entirety. Just never been able to get into it for one reason or another. Basically, the Diamonds are Forever of the franchise – I can kinda get what they’re going for and appreciate it in small doses, but I’m not sure I can sit through the whole thing.
Batman Begins (2005)
Directed by Christopher Nolan
Starring Christian Bale
Ryley: I like this one, but not as much as you. Take the lead, friend!
Deepak: Maybe the definitive superhero origin story. In the same way that Spider-Man became the template for more conventional ones, Begins announces not just how Wayne becomes Batman, but digs deeper into the psychology of the character than any previous superhero film besides Ang Lee’s Hulk. Nolan still provides the requisite set pieces, maniacal comic book villain, and perfunctory love interest, but wrapping Wayne in relatable complexity and the time-shifting backstory that combines the hero’s journey with a Bond-like supporting cast (Alfred is Moneypenny, Fox is Q, Wayne his own M) makes this a movie where, now knowing Wayne, we can hit the ground running in 2008 when he promises to “look into it.”
The Dark Knight (2008)
Directed by Christopher Nolan
Starring Christian Bale
Ryley: What’s worth remembering about why The Dark Knight really works, is that it’s a genre exercise. Nolan presents The Dark Knight as a cops and robbers movie with some very unusual cops and some deeply troubled criminals. But fundamentally, all the genre rules apply. The cops have to decide if they’re going to break the rules they claim to uphold. Some of them benefit from that choice, others suffer. The core of The Dark Knight is what works in all the best Noir movies. Don’t ever let people tell you it’s just Ledger.
Deepak: this was a fine motion picture.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Directed by Christopher Nolan
Starring Christian Bale
Ryley: What I love most about this very underrated is that it delivers an ending to a superhero story, in a way I don’t expect we’re ever very likely to see again. You can like the ending or hate it (I tend to think it slaps). But the really unique thing about The Dark Knight Rises, is it is the end of Nolan’s Batman story. It will be a long, long time before we see another creator be given total creative license with a piece of IP to tell their story, the way they want to, from start to finish.
Deepak: I’ve come a long way on this one. Didn’t like it until fairly recently, when I realized that it’s basically Godfather III – it can’t hold a candle to the two that came before it, but taken on its own terms (especially compared to the vast majority of superhero cinema out there), it’s fine. Disappointing, but not disastrous by any means, and made with a level of professionalism that’s sadly hard to come by these days.
Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Directed by Zack Snyder
Starring Ben Affleck
Ryley: If I’m honest, this is my preferred Snyder Cut. Dawn of Justice is a flawed movie. But the three-hour edition gets a lot more right than it gets wrong. Zack Snyder makes operatic movies with big heroes, big villains, and big jars of piss on Holly Hunter’s desk. Those movies aren’t going to be everybody’s cup of tea. But I implore you, dear reader, abandon your memories of the theatrical cut of this film and seek out the 3-hour version. It’s pretty wild. I’d at least call it a solid double.
Deepak: Yes, the theatrical cut is obsolete. The three-hour “Ultimate Edition” is good. I like it. I get why people don’t. If people wanna talk about tonality and the shift towards grimdark, that’s a valid conversation. If “Martha!” is unavoidably funny to you, I kinda get it. If people wanna attack the movie because Batman kills or because they feel Eisenberg was awful – I got nothing for you. There are fundamental conceptual choices that Snyder has made from the ground-up; you’re either on-board or not, and if not, then no amount of arguing or debating will change anything.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Directed by David Ayer
Starring Ben Affleck
Ryley: Fun to see Affleck getting paid, you know?
Deepak: Probably the worst franchise movie since Terminator Salvation.
Justice League (2017)
Directed by Joss Whedon
Starring Ben Affleck
Ryley: One day, when we are old, this cut of this movie will be playing on some cable network. And we’ll watch it and think “Man, remember when everybody was so mad about this thing?” And that’s about all I have to say about this movie.
Deepak: I still maintain this is a fun, Saturday morning cartoon turned into a (semi) live-action movie. It’s dumb, and Cavill’s face is unforgivable, but if somehow the latter had been pulled off, I think I’d watch this movie more often than I care to admit.
Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021)
Directed by Zack Snyder
Starring Ben Affleck
Ryley: So look, it’s official: Zack Snyder should only be allowed to make 3+ hour movies. I know that sounds like it’s not in anyone’s interest, but I’m serious here. The longer they are, the better they seem to be. Zack Snyder’s Justice League is definitively better than the shorter, Whedon, version. And it somehow pulls off the impossible of making me want a second, 3+ hour Zack Snyder Justice League movie. So, mission accomplished I guess Twitter.
Deepak: I actually came around on this the second time, but that epilogue is unnecessary. Taken as a 3.5-hour version of SnyderVerse Endgame, there’s SO MUCH STUFF that it’s hard not to find at least some of it appealing.